How to Identify Misplaced Emotions

I believe that every day, more than half of the emotions we feel aren't really what they appear to be and we need to know how to identify misplaced emotions like these.

We then need to know how to deal with them once they have been identified.

One of the better ways to get past unwanted and often damaging emotions is to learn how to practice ho'oponopono, the ancient Hawaiian art of prayer and mental cleansing.

This is a method whereby you "clean" past transgressions that are clogging up your memories and creating negative emotions unconsciously. This is the subconscious mind's way of trying to resolve these issues but that tend to stay unresolved sometimes for the entirely of a person's life.

Why Emotions Become Misplaced

how to identify misplaced emotionsEmotions can become misplaced when past injustices have not been resolved.

As an example, perhaps you are angry about a situation that other people would see as neutral or benign, when the real cause of your anger is perhaps feelings of resentment about a bigger issue that you have not addressed as yet.

The otherwise innocent target for your anger may be merely a trigger that nudged you into an anger state.

Emotional Fallout

Relationship problems are often the fallout caused by misplaced emotions. It's also evident that similar things propagate outward to affect the relationship we have with others.

There is an apt phrase that goes, "You lie to yourself." You might not be lying, but it is possible that you may be hiding more of your reality than you realize.

It's necessary to identify what is really bothering you so that you can cut through the falseness that taints any situation. For this to happen, it's important to be able to ask yourself why you feel the way you do at any given time.

Think of yourself as a child asking, "But why?"

Use the question to add to your question to help you assess your emotional state.

  • If you feel frustrated, ask yourself why.
  • If you're feeling lonely, ask why.
  • Are you angry about something? Why?
  • Do you feel anxious about something? Why?

It's easy to see the point.

Examine Your Emotions

This is a great way for you to examine your own emotions and to learn more about yourself.

Anyone who wants to be a happier, more evolved person should try this. You'll be able to live a better life by getting to the root of your feelings.

What is This Emotion's Name?

As part of your emotional examination process, ask yourself, "If I could give a name to this emotion, what would that name be?"

Ask yourself what the emotion is that you're feeling, especially when it is a strong emotive experience.

If you need to, write it down on paper if necessary. Take a moment to think about the name you have given it.

  • Does that describe what you feel in your body?
  • Are your mind and heart in agreement with that?
  • What does it feel like?
  • Does it feel right or wrong?

Is This Emotion Warranted?

Think about what an outsider would think. What would you say to someone who is kind? What would you do if a friend came to you with the same problem?

People are more difficult on themselves than they are on others. Check to see if your emotions match up with the assessment of this other person.

How does that affect how you feel?

What Am I Feeling?

Sometimes misplaced emotions can appear as strong reactions to situations that aren't merited when approached with cold logic.

As an example, you might feel angry at your spouse for breaking a glass. However, if they did not do it deliberately, then you can't be angry at their actions.

Asking yourself the question above, you would realize that it is not that anger is directed at your spouse. The realization is that you are not actually angry, but afraid the broken glass may cause someone harm and it should be cleaned up.

Cleaning up broken glass can in itself be a stressful chore. You may be concerned that you both may suffer cuts from the broken glass.

With that in mind, instead of speaking to your spouse with anger, you can instead tone down the attracted emotional outburst to be more matter of fact when you realize that you're not really mad at them.

Why Do You Feel This Way?

Write down a list of declarative statements if you want to find out how you feel.

You can make a bullet-pointed listing of all thoughts that are circulating in your head that you are certain about.

As an example, you may write down something like, "I'm worried about my parent's health," or "I feel disrespected by my boss at work."

Perhaps you feel like you are unable to sleep because you have so much work to do. Maybe you feel jealous yet ashamed of your friend's achievements.

I'm sure you get the idea.

Writing down these statements can help you get to the core of your feelings. Studies also prove that the brain benefits from writing down feelings.

Be Honest with Yourself

After you have identified the truth statement, accept it. Forgive yourself.

Everyone is still a work in progress. The number one goal is to be kind to yourself. Be honest with yourself and remember that you are not required to hide your inner monologue.

We hide our emotions of anger, jealousy and spite from ourselves often because we don’t want to feel them. These feelings are normal and necessary.

Negative emotions are made worse by denying them. Instead, we can address them and they will no longer be our prisoner.

It is only by identifying misplaced emotions that we can learn to recognize our feelings. This allows us to be more free and can allow us to live our lives better.


There is likely a relationship with the Law of Attraction in that you could be attracting strong negative emotions in response to circumstances that trigger long buried memories and their associated emotional baggage.

This creates a cascade effect lowering your vibration and raising negative emotional energy that is both unwanted and unwarranted. Here is where a technique like ho'oponopono can relieve stress and heal the emotional wounds and bring you back into a positive, higher vibrational state.

By identifying and labelling emotions that have become misplaced, it is possible to greatly reduce the stress caused by them.

Once it is realised that the stress itself is caused by mistaken feelings, the stress can be let go of and you can become calmer and more in control of your actions.

Written by: Terry Didcott